Cell Phone Follies

[lizvogel]

Way back a few years ago when I switched to AT&T, the only pay-as-you-go option they had was this weird thing where you pay $2 for the first use (call or text) in a 24-hour period, and then anything else you do during that 24 hours is free. I didn't love it, but I decided I could live with it given my usage patterns. The rep who sold it to me assured me it included data.

This, of course, was not true. Oh, you can get data if you jump through multiple hoops and trust AT&T with your credit card for something where you have no idea of the quantity involved, which, uh, no. But no easily-accessed data charged against the value already on your account, like I was promised. Annoying, but not a deal-breaker at the time.

The rep also assured me that the phone I was buying (LG Phoenix 3) was fully compatible with the 4G/5G networks, and that I wouldn't have to worry about it suddenly stopping working. This had just happened to a friend of mine, so it was something I was careful to check.

Fast-forward a few years, my needs have changed, and it's time for me to get a real cell plan. Consumers Cellular has the best deal for what I want, so I call AT&T to get my phone unlocked (surprisingly painless, after a few set-up steps), and trot off to Target to switch carriers. So imagine my surprise when we get 2/3 through the process only for CC to reject my phone because, wait for it, it's not fully 4G/5G compatible. In fact, the CC tech kinda freaked out about it, you have to call AT&T right now, your phone could stop working at any minute, omg you have to call AT&T right away!!! Ooookay, it was fine this morning, but when I was done with him (and all the CC set-up was backed out and deactivated), I trotted off to the nearest AT&T store. Where the rep confirmed that yes, my phone was not fully 4G/5G compatible, and yes, it could stop working at any minute. In fact, she was surprised it hadn't already.

Okay, so the plan I was sold wasn't what I was told it was, and the phone I was sold wasn't what I was told it was. I'm not best pleased with AT&T at this point, but I was leaving anyway. (And in case I needed more encouragement, AT&T jacked the pay-as-you-go cost to $3 per 24 hours.) Now I just need to buy a new phone first.

Unfortunately, the current trend in cell phones does not make me happy. If I wanted to carry around something the size of a tablet, I'd just buy a tablet, thanks. I want something that actually fits in my pocket! I don't want an iPhone, because I'm not interested in being Apple's bitch (not that being Google's bitch is that much better). And while I recognize that I'm going to have to spend a bit more than my previous phones cost, I'm not up for forking over three mortgage payments for a device I have mixed feelings about owning anyway.

So shopping for a new phone becomes an epic quest. What I really want is the phone I already have; the closest thing is the LG Phoenix 5, but nobody has it in stock. Turns out, LG is going out of the phone business. In the process, I talk to three different AT&T reps at two different AT&T stores; in each case, I'm up front about the fact that I'm only buying a new phone so I can jump ship to a different carrier. All three of them make noises of the "we're sorry to see you go, but you can do that, no problem" variety.

I finally give up and order the Phoenix 5 through a third party. Yeah, limited manufacturer support and all that, but by the time it becomes an issue hopefully the fashion in phones will be more to my taste. I get the phone just fine, charge it up, and take it to AT&T to get it activated. The rep spends over an hour farking around, and finally hands me the new phone with my number on it, and absolutely none of my data. And acts as though this is no big deal; "the old phone still works, you can turn it on." Yeah, and what am I supposed to do about my calendar? Carry two phones all the time? So there was an emergency trip to Best Buy, where they at least managed to get the number switched back to the old phone. And then there was another trip to Best Buy when it wasn't close to closing time, where I argued my way through four or five techs before I finally found someone who treated transferring my data as a challenge to be overcome rather than an annoyance to be dismissed, and lo! the thing that "can't be done" was done.

(Yes, theoretically I could have figured out how to do all this SIM-swapping and data transferring myself. But I was far past having even a single nerve left on this subject, and more than willing to pay somebody else to deal with it. And in the end, Best Buy didn't even charge me for it.)

So after far too much screwing around, I've got my phone, I've got my data, and I'm ready to go. I call AT&T to get the new phone unlocked -- and this is when I'm informed that because it's an AT&T prepaid, they won't unlock it until it's been in service with AT&T for six months.

Yes, three different reps in two different AT&T stores lied to me. Why am I surprised?

Cue 3? 4? many, anyway, calls to AT&T Customer "Care" (the most mis-named department ever) trying to work my way up the food chain to someone who can override this and free my phone, each of which ends with "my supervisor isn't available, they'll call you back within 24 hours." Which, of course, never happens. (Actually, one supervisor did call me; we spent half an hour discussing the situation, to which her solution, as far as I could make out over the truly terrible connection, was that I sign up for AT&T's $30/month plan until the six months was up. When I explained that giving the company more money was not an acceptable solution to their reps... misrepresenting... everything they'd ever sold me, she told me her supervisor would have to call me back. That was two weeks ago; still waiting.)

Another visit to the AT&T store sent me through the useless spiral of their web portal for unlocks, which insisted that I use the unlock app, which of course rejected the request. A follow-up visit included one of the reps I'd spoken to while shopping claiming "I didn't know that's why you were buying the phone" and changing the subject abruptly when I looked her in the eye and said flatly, "I told you." It also netted me the phone number for Customer Retention, who are the people who have the authority to override rules to keep dissatisfied customers. Not exactly my situation, but the next step up the food chain.

At this point, I am prepared to fight this all the way to the president of the company. Because dammit, just this once, AT&T needs to make good on what their people in the stores promised. And if that fails, you just watch how little I can use a cell phone for six months! Bet I can make the twelve bucks I've got left on there last the whole time, you lying thieving bastards.

But first, I take a couple days off from fighting them, because the level of rage I have to work myself into to persevere against this tide of corporate BS is frankly not healthy, and I need to do other things for a bit.

And then yesterday, I dropped my phone.

I was, as usual, trying to do two things at once because ghu forbid I take 30 extra seconds to deal with something. I thought the phone hit the soft dirt on the shoulder of the road (I was doing yardwork at the time), but it must have struck a rock at just the wrong angle. The screen is shattered. It still works, but it's bad enough to absolutely need fixing if I'm going keep using the thing.

I think the universe may be trying to tell me something.

Tbh, I haven't been entirely thrilled with the new phone; it's the size I wanted, it's comfortable to use, but it turns out a lot of the stuff I liked was LG software that's no longer distributed, or hardware on the 3 that they changed on the 5 to make it more like a iPhone (because everything has to be like an iPhone). (One of those things was that the 3 had a textured back, whereas the 5's back is skating-rink slink, thus contributing to the drop.) It's mostly worked great, but it did have one episode of completely freezing up for about 10 minutes and not responding to anything (and it apparently doesn't have a removable battery???, so damn good thing it eventually cleared itself). I wasn't about to throw away the time & money I've invested just because AT&T are lying thieving bastards, but do I really want to sink more money into this thing just so I can keep fighting AT&T to the death for half a year?

I am seriously considering just buying another phone. A completely unlocked one, with no connection whatsoever to my soon-to-be-ex-carrier. A friend has recommended Unihertz, which at least has the merit of not thinking that everybody who isn't buying an iPhone really wants an iPhone. (ETA: Unihertz does not work with Consumers Cellular, per the company's chat. Bummer.) It'll be more money, and more waiting, and more stress over whether the thing will work with my new carrier (which is ridiculously impossible to confirm until you have the phone in your hand), but it might just be the best move under the circumstances.

Comments

[cat_paw]

Well, heck, about Unihertz. Yeah, I dislike the options of tablet, tablet, more tablet, or you get a dumb phone. I did see consumers cellular on the list for the Unihertz Jelly 2 (https://drive.google.com/file/d/14-nPL2lhd-H7ZL4KKVOYg2G-WoaUXsB1/view) but only two datapoints for it. So it may be not enough test points for them to say it does work? Granted, Consumer Cellular uses AT&T towers, so that may also be part (Unihertz calls them out for not working with them).

Cellular plans and Internet plans are a bane of existence :P

[lizvogel]

Yeah, I was bummed. But I ended up with a TCL A30, which seems to be decent enough for my purposes and is actually comfortable in my hand! There needs to be a follow-up post about getting that set up, but it's still a work in progress. (If all non-apple phones are Android, why are apps not consistent across phones? Argh!) But I have functional communications and a calendar, and I've given the finger to AT&T. That'll do me for now.