lizvogel

One of the challenges of database design is not just accommodating current needs, but anticipating future ones. I'm good at doing this most of the time, but most =/= all.

Tags are a database. And there are some things I'm still talking about that were tagged a certain way for reasons that no longer apply, or that I no longer want to think about in that way.

If you reached this post by following the HoM tag for Highway of Mirrors, you'll want to continue with the niay tag.

If you reached this post by following the Haley novel tag for the as-of-this-posting-untitled Haley novel, you'll want to continue with the novel 2 tag, which it was before I finished something else first. ;-)


(And if you're reading this on LiveJournal, you'll have to find those tags yourself, as the links point to Dreamwidth. And if you're reading this on Dreamwidth and want the niay tags prior to May 2nd, 2009, you'll have to look on LiveJournal. Platform changes, bleargh.)

I'm still in the midst of re-(re-re-)writing the synopsis for Highway of Mirrors, but I find myself in need of a short pitch, so I'm taking a break to work on that. Now, working on the synopsis is more painful than the query, and I recall writing a one-sentence pitch and thinking "Hey, that didn't hurt!", so I had this theory that the shorter the form, the easier it is to summarize the work. The short pitch is proving to be anomalous data. ;-(  It's especially frustrating because I thought I already had a short pitch written, and as usual when I think that sort of thing, it's both too long and not very good.

I'm saying "short pitch" for my own convenience; this is the thing also known as a logline or an elevator pitch. Sometimes the logline and the one-sentence pitch are the same thing. In this case, the target is asking for a logline, and 2-3 sentences seems to be the standard among the examples (at least, the good ones). Unsurprisingly, I'm having trouble sounding both pithy and coherent in that small a space.

All the various short representations of a novel -- summary, outline, query, elevator pitch -- are generally lumped together as being summaries of the story, in various degrees of detail. But it's occurring to me that that's not quite right. A summary, obviously, is a summary; an outline is a summary in a more bullet-pointy (yes, I am a writer) format; a query is a briefer summary that leaves off the ending. But the purpose of the short pitch/elevator pitch/logline is not to summarize; it's to sell. Yes, the others are all sales tools too, but they do their selling by giving at least a somewhat accurate overall impression of the novel. The logline is all about the "hey, cool!" factor.

In this particular case, the only thing the logline needs to do is be interesting enough to get people to read the brief excerpt that will appear directly below it. It has to be interesting, it has to make people say "hey, cool!", it has to stick in the reader's brain -- it does not have to sum up the whole book, however briefly. And that's why my pre-existing short pitch isn't good; it's an accurate summary given its length, but it's utterly lacking in "hey, cool!"

In this particular application, it'd also be nice if the logline seemed to fit with the excerpt. However, to my surprise, I've managed to find a <500-word chunk that gives a good impression of the characters, the tradecraft, and even the theme -- despite not actually being about the theme, when it's in context. So if I nail the "complex characters doing morally ambiguous things" aspect in the short pitch, I'm golden.

Which is all a long, procrastinatey way to say that I've figured out what I've been doing wrong. Now I just need to sit down and do it right.

Yep, the query is back again. I'm calling it version 3, though really it's more like 3.49785. It's definitely better; the question is, is it better enough? ( You tell me. )


Obligatory note: I welcome constructive criticism. That does not have to be exclusively positive. However, if you don't like the genre and are determined to dis any example of it, or if your idea of feedback includes drive-by sniping that's more about stoking your ego than improving the work, feel free to move along without commenting.

Oh, yeah, this.

The goal for June was to finish the novel revisions before 4th Street. Oh well. Nice thought, that, but, um, no. I did manage to get the last massive change (a huge chunk of mostly-new material, turning one chapter into two again) into my beta-reader's hands before I left, and she got me her feedback to incorporate before the end of the month. However, she quite reasonably wanted a rest after that, so the last few chapters are rescheduled for July.

Word count wasn't the point this month, but just for the record:

first novel revisions = 2435
Total new words in June = 2435


Still to do: See if my beta approves the addition to the action climax. Tweak the end so it's less clunky. There's a reference I need to work into an earlier chapter, and there might be another to work into the next-to-last scene. And that, please ghods and microfiche, should be it. At least until somebody with a contract in hand says otherwise. ;-)

So, July's goal is the above, and also to get my query and synopsis finally done. The query's making progress, I think; it's definitely better, although whether it's better enough remains to be seen. I dread looking at the synopsis again. And then, once all that's done, it's time to send it out.

Judging from the responses, my query is either so brilliant that everyone was struck dumb with awe, or so awful that no one could find the words to express it.

Despite that, I'm going ahead and posting the synopsis. For the uninitiated, a synopsis is like the query-blurb's big brother. It's longer (opinions vary on how much so), more detailed, and does spoil the ending. There are several uses for a synopsis; one of the more common is to show whether an author can sustain a story through to a satisfying ending. (Sample pages, when submitted, are always from the beginning of the book; many writers can make an interesting start, but drop the ball before they get to the end.)

So, with spoiler warnings for an as-yet-unpublished novel, I'd love to hear what you think of this. Does it sound interesting? What's your impression of the characters? Does the plot sound like it holds up all the way to the end? What bits make you say "Cool!" -- or "WTF?" In short, ( would you read this book? )


ETA: I would have thought this was self-evident, but evidently not: I'm looking for constructive criticism here. That does not have to be positive. However, if you don't like the genre and can't get past that to evaluate an individual instance of it, it's probably safe to assume that yours are not the comments I'm looking for.

I told myself that I needed 203 words last night in order to make quota without counting anything but the novel revisions. And by ghod, I wrote 204. And every one of them hurt.

I actually needed 208. *headdesk*

first novel revisions = 4996
old-mission stories = 294
Total new words in April = 5290

Still, over quota in toto. It's a good thing I'm a writer and not a mathematician. And I did turn a snippet into a scene last night, which is always a nice accomplishment.

I am alternately excited about and exhausted by the mere thought of the revisions. There's some cool building-up-to and groundwork-laying stuff I get to do, now that I've realized it's needed. There's a frisson of anticipation in this that's not dissimilar to being on the audience-side of a story that's building up to an exciting climax, only without the unpleasant worry of not trusting the creators to take the story somewhere I want to go. There's also a damned lot of it to be written, and one scene that's now so chopped up that I've resorted to printing out both the old and new-half-done versions, and will be cutting them up with scissors and moving the bits around on the floor to try to achieve some coherence.

But hey, there's only four chapters to go. Except that it'll probably be five by the time I'm done expanding this one. I don't think any of the others will need major revisions. (There's one small but significant addition to the penultimate chapter, but I've already written it, so it'll just be a matter of fitting it in and sanding down the edges.) I think. But we'll see when I get there.

Gacked from azdak, the WIP 7x7x7 meme:

1. Go to page 7 (or 77) of your current WIP.
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next 7 lines – sentences or paragraphs – and post them as they’re written.

The first novel seems to be in progress again, and the revisions are certainly work, so here goes. (I went with page 77, because that seemed more fun.)

"Don't get too smug," her mother warned. "I could still decide the whole idea's a waste of time." Which it might well be. Scott's plan B wasn't the worst she'd heard, but how much of her own agreement came from just wanting to see James again?

Haley sat straight up at Elle's remark, looking as not-smug as she knew how. Scott chuckled. "She can ride with me, in the surveillance van.

the new novel = 5
revisions on the previous novel = 1498
assorted mission stories = 5454
Total new words in January = 6957

Well over the 5K goal. /*dusts hands with sense of accomplishment*/

The "assorted mission stories" are mostly just one story -- which is done except for figuring out the model of gun used in one scene, and which just might work as a stand-alone. I'm not sure if submitting post-novel stories for magazine publication before the novel gets published is a good idea or a bad one, but it'd be nice to have the option.

The count on the new novel would be beyond sad, yes, except that I'm still pushing around ideas for a replacement plot. The one I'd settled on -- and "settled" is the operative word -- just wasn't doing it for me. Thanks to this post (Pat Wrede = god of writing about writing, y/y?), I've got several ideas, or variants on an idea, that I like better; now it's just a matter of doing the research (oh gawd) to see which one flies best.

The previous novel revisions are something of a surprise to me. In an attempt to write a query that isn't, y'know, boring, I sat down to reread a few chapters to get the voice fresh in my head. My reaction can best be politely summarized as, "Well, this could be better." What it boils down to is that I've now been away from the text long enough that I can be my own beta-reader, and the first novel is finally getting the rigorous critical read that it should have had the first time around. And revised accordingly. (It's also getting longer, which is not the point but is a nice side benefit.)


I'm still going to hold to the 5000 words per month goal. How that's going to work out with revisions going on one novel and major research needed on the other before I can write much, I don't know. I'm tempted to chuck everything else and concentrate on the revisions, but I recognize that's a bad plan. I used to be able to switch between several on-going projects with ease; looks like that's a skill I'd better revive.

I have polished off the last remaining tape flag. The novel is officially done!


(Well, except for me doing a final whole-thing-together review. And my betas doing the same. And probably at least one new beta, for that fresh-eyes thing. So in a way, still "done". But I'm calling it done.)


64,441 words. 13 chapters. Three and a half years. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

Had another go at writing at the coffeeshop on the way to the gym today. Managed to turn out about about 400 words in... an hour and a half? Something like that. Not too bad, by my standards. More importantly, I seem to have finished the revision from hell. Well, for definitions of "finished" that include a handful of find-a-better-phrase brackets, and having no idea whatsoever if the new version is even coherent, let alone "right". But all the gaps are filled in, at least.

The coffeeshop experiment remains inconclusive: On the one hand, getting out of my usual environment does seem to help with the sticky bits; on the other hand, while I'm pleased I'm developing the ability to write through interruptions, I could happily have fed a cup sideways to the two women who decided the otherwise-deserted back room was the perfect place for their whiny-voiced chat. Still, 400 words, not to be sneezed at.

Now to do the final tag scene... and the packet of tape flags' worth of minor tweaks, and whatever else the betas find....